In a move reminiscent of its sadly faded historical tradition of progressivism, the State Legislature of Wisconsin has banned the playing of any song from the album "Fly Like an Eagle" by former favorite son Stevie "Guitar" Miller. Wisconsinites have all agreed that the songs were very nice for the first thirty years, somewhat aggravating for the ensuing ten, and have become insufferable.
"But only because of repetition. It's not like we got anyt'ing against Steve. Wisconsin loves Steve," State Legislator Walt Staller stated, adding, with characteristic Wisconsin niceness, as well as a touch of confusion, "...all Steves, in fact."
Wisconsin radio stations playing songs from "Fly Like an Eagle" will be shut down and then burned to the ground. "It's created a climate of fear," said a radio station programmer, on condition of anonymity. "I mean, can you play 'The Joker' or 'Space Cowboy' or 'Livin' in the USA'? No, it's not safe, because everybody thinks those are from 'Fly Like an Eagle' too, even though they aren't. So one minute you're perfectly legally grooving to 'I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker,' and the next thing you know your station's vinyl archive is a superheated mass of moving goo and you're out in the rain with a fireman's cape over your shoulders and a lady from the Rotarians is pressing a cup of chamomille tea into your hands. What kind of country is this when you can't listen to your favorite tunes on the radio eighty-seven thousand times if you want to?"
The President of the Steve Miller Fan Club in Milwaukee, Ferdinand "Ferdie" McGurk, was unperturbed. "It's not like we don't have all the albums," he said.
When asked if he indeed had all the albums, he said, "No, I just have 'Greatest Hits 1974–78.'"
Mike
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